Two ears and one mouth ....

(This is a re-release post from this blog .....TferThomas, from January 2009, and for me, both personally and professionally, remains very relevant today).

Recently this old saying has surfaced in a number of conversations and presentations that I have been privileged to be a part of. I thought I should share my thoughts here, and share the love of this age old saying.

You have two ears and one mouth, and that's the proportion you should use them.

How many times in the past have you been in an important meeting, and when concluded, only to find that you appear to have missed some key, critical information? It has certainly happened to me on a number of occasions. Until, that is, someone shared the love of this old saying to me.

If you can actually resist opening your mouth, and therefore not talk, but more importantly, concentrate on what the other party is discussing, the chances of you absorbing what they are trying to say (whether directly, or indirectly) increases exponentially... to your favour.

And this is the point, by gaining the direct and indirect insights (ie. the world according to the other party), you are leaps and bounds of someone else (perhaps your competitor).

But this doesn't just apply to business dealings.... again, how many times have you had a conversation with your loved one, and later, could not recall what he / she was really drilling down to from within the conversation? Its happened to us all, and will continue to do so, if you don't zip it.

Of course, verbal acknowledgments do assist the non verbal signs, confirming the simple fact you are listening, but that's just the point.... two ears and one mouth.

So the next time you are sitting with someone (business or pleasure), give it a go, and let me know what the outcomes were.

My thoughts,

Thomas

Follow Thomas @TferThomas

Saying goodbye to a phenomenal man

This week marked the passing of a truly great man...someone most of you won't know, and someone I had only know for a bit over 5 months.



My wife's Mother's brother-in-law, our Mosa, passed away peacefully (from all accounts; I wasn't present) last Tuesday. And he will be missed.



Mosa was not only present at our Hindu wedding back in March, but more importantly, he was both our Pundit (Hindu Priest) and our Civil Celebrant...he performed our wedding ceremony, and it was the last one he performed.



I met him for the first time about an hour before our wedding, and he instantly made me relax. Suffering a rare skin disorder, Mosa was literally as white as me, which really took me by surprise, and it sort of enhanced his Pundit "aura" in my mind.



Mosa ensured I was fully aware of what would and was happening, every step of the way, and I know from my family and friends' perspective (not to mention mine as well) this was hugely welcoming and comforting at the same time.



His keen sense of humour came into play a number of times during the ceremony (apparently my wife has to obey me! ;) ), and his patience for a Gora like me right in the middle of a Hindu wedding, was much appreciated.



But it was the two days after spent in Mosa's company that I was so lucky and fortunate to receive. For it was this time I was able to learn more about this great man's 80+ years of life's experiences...and there were many lessons learnt and still learning, as a direct result of our conversations, and time spent.



And it is not just me who obviously feels this way about Mosa...at his "public" funeral service, at least 500 people were in attendance, and the line of the people waiting to say goodbye seemingly took forever to run its course. He was well loved.



Mosa has gone to a better place, and we here are poorer for that. I now have someone else I can class as one of my life's guidance counselors; even though he has passed on, his memories and advice live on.



God rest his soul



Nameste